Happy 20th birthday Cartoon Network

Posted on October 16, 2012 by ilmozart

Happy Birthday!

On October 1 Cartoon Network celebrated its 20th birthday. Even though I’m in theory an adult, I love Cartoon Network. I remember watching Courage the Cowardly Dog and Cow and Chicken in the early 00’s, frequently thinking “Nah, this isn’t really for kids, right?” I mean…c’mon. Even more kid friendly shows like Johnny Bravo, Dexter’s Laboratory, and The Powerpuff Girls were all building on the idea behind Looney Tunes: make a show for the children, but make it something their parents will also like.

Just think about The Rabbit of Seville or What’s Opera, Doc? These are cartoons about operas, there’s no way these were made solely for kids. And so too the really successful Cartoon Network shows have that bi-level approach.

Even their newer shows are following this, most specifically Adventure Time and Regular Show.

To celebrate this birthday, Cartoon Network put together this fabulous little music video that mashes together all their greatest hits (with a special concentration on old Adventure Time, because let’s face it – it really is that good).

I really like how the video starts with Daffy Duck, giving their elders the rightful respect they deserve. Also the use of color and black and white is really spectacular.

Adweek links to an interview with the creators of the video. This is my favorite bit from that interview:

In our discussion earlier, you mentioned a scene that was cut for being deemed “too risqué.” Can you elaborate?

Ingi: There was a scene that we based on a particular scene from Regular Show featuring a character called Coffee. If you’re a fan of the show, you’ll know the one I mean. We did a spin on this that also featured Cow from Cow and Chicken, for obvious reasons. Again, I’m sure you can put 2 and 2 together if you know the scene, but alas, it wasn’t deemed “safe enough” for the video and was ultimately replaced.

Seriously, there is no way that show is for children, on any level, in any way.

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New Trailer Alert: Carrie [yes, they are remaking Carrie]

Posted on October 16, 2012 by ilmozart

Oh Hollywood.

So many remakes that are unasked for. Were we really writing letters for a Total Recall or The Women or The Ladykillers for today’s world? For every Ocean’s 11, we get 20 Blues Brothers 2000.

Praying to god because of the dirty pillows

But this one is a bit of a head scratcher. The original Carrie, based on the book by Stephen King (his first novel to be published) is one of those really great horror flicks. The movie itself was actually nominated for two Oscars (Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress). Sissy Spacek’s ethereal innocence belied something much darker and more sinister. And Piper Laurie as her mother was all fire and brimstone, and really pure insanity until the very end. Her death stuck with me for a very long time.

And the film features one of the most iconic prom sequences in cinematic history. The image of Spacek at the prom, blood streaming down her hair, her dress, her face, her eyes saucer-sized in fear and shame. It is at once frightening and in the context of the movie, so so heartbreaking.

She is going to make them all burn

Sure there was an awful sequel that had nothing to do with the original (The Rage: Carrie 2) and then they made that terrible television version with Angela Bettis who was much better served by the uber-creepy film May. But no one took either of those seriously.

However, there is an actual remake headed to theaters that seems to be more than just an attempt to make more money. The film is being directed by Kimberly Pierce who made a big splash in the 90’s and won Hilary Swank her first Oscar with Boys Don’t Cry. And then casting Chloë Moretz  who is developing quite the bloody resume (Let Me In, Kick-Ass)  as the titular character and Julianne Moore – playing against whatever her amorphous type is – as her religious fanatic mother, I am starting to think that this Carrie might not be something to just brush off.

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Tina Fey & Amy Poehler will host Golden Globes

Posted on October 15, 2012 by ilmozart

You won’t have Ricky to kick around anymore….

Apparently the Hollywood Foreign Press realized that they didn’t have to bring back Ricky Gervais.

But seriously, this is great.

 

The golden goddess of comedy

EW reports that Fey and Poehler will co-host the 70th Golden Globes that will air on January 13 on NBC.

The duo are not only long time friends, having been in Second City together, but they co-hosted SNL‘s Weekend Update together for 2 seasons, and have co-starred in movies together.

This is clearly a match made in heaven.

What is interesting is how this has turned out to be a big year for TV stars hosting award shows that aren’t necessarily about TV. First Seth MacFarlane is hosting the Oscars, and now this. Considering it’s not a stretch to say that some of what is on TV is rivaling anything on the big screen, perhaps this isn’t such a shocker.

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Argo: Ben Affleck does good

Posted on October 15, 2012 by ilmozart

Ben Affleck is really becoming quite the director. Even though I didn’t adore The Town, you can’t deny Affleck was building on the artistry that he started in Gone Baby Gone. And now with Argo, you can’t help but feel he’s finally there.

Playing it cool as he walks past the Ayatollah

Based in on an actual true story, not those “true stories” that so many terrible horror films claim, Argo tells of what is probably one of the more bizarre extractions in the CIA’s history. After the US messes around with Iran’s government one time too many, the Ayatollah takes control and Iranian people are seriously pissed with the US who was harboring the Shah. Rather than let him die in comfort in the US, the Iranian people wanted him extradited to be tried and executed for the hell and torture he put them through. And since the US was not about to comply with that, things got dicey for the US diplomats in Iran – hence the Iranian hostage crisis.

Six “houseguests” looking for refuge

The start of the film really sets the pace for the rest of it. The Iranians are protesting loudly and violently outside of the US Embassy. Inside, everyone is uneasy. And in some very swift storytelling, we see the Embassy staff start shredding and burning any and all documents that might be useful to those about to storm their walls. The danger is palpable. As outside invaders make their way in, six workers escape to the streets and somehow manage to make their way to the house of the Canadian Ambassador (Victor Garber).

So then the question becomes, those in the Embassy are relatively safe as killing them with the world watching will start a war. But the six that escaped, they could easily be killed and as Bryan Cranston’s CIA man says, they die badly and publicly.

Crantson and Affleck in 70’s mode

Enter Affleck’s Tony Mendez, CIA extraction expert. Mendez assumes full responsibility for these six hostages and the weight of that responsibility is written all over his face and visible in every action. It is to Affleck’s credit that while Mendez is the lead, he doesn’t make the role ostentatious or scene stealing. He leaves that pleasure to John Goodman and Alan Arkin. Goodman plays John Chambers the real-life Oscar winning make-up artist who Mendez has previously worked with. When Mendez concocts the idea to use a fake (and frankly awful-sounding) sci-fi movie as the cover story and making the six ‘houseguests’ the Canadian film crew there to scout locations, he turns to Chambers and to Alan Arkin’s absolutely brilliant Lester Siegel to create the background that will sell this story.

Studio Six Productions

A bit of praise for Arkin. While John Chambers was real, Lester Siegel wasn’t a real person (I don’t believe…). But Arkin creates the character in just a few scenes so that you understand exactly who he is, where’s he’s been, and the fact that he’s just coming to terms with his career being on the decline. His creation of the line “Argo fuck yourself” is used several times in the movie, and I laughed each time. Trust me, it’s all in Arkin’s delivery. He and Goodman get all the best lines. Chambers and Siegel understand the importance of what they are doing, but embrace it with a zest that brings a great comedy to the film. The Hollywood scenes are pretty damned funny and the laughter is necessary to relieve the stress from the rest of the film.

The entire movie is cast well. From the now-ubiquitous Chris Messina and Kyle Chandler at the CIA, to Clea Duvall, Tate Donovan and Rory Cochrane (Dazed and Confused) as two of the houseguests. I wasn’t familiar with the actors playing the other half of of the six embassy workers (Christopher Denham, Kerry Bishé, and Scoot McNairy – who will be in the new Brad Pitt film Killing Them Softly), but they were all excellent. They might have been having fine meals and playing cards and listening to music, but the gravity of their situation was always there, preying on them. All showcased some deft character work, particularly as they prepped their cover identities under extreme stress and as they went through checkpoint after checkpoint at the airport.

Prepping cover identities

As he showed with The Town, Affleck has no problem directing ensembles while still allowing for an individual performance to shine through.

Because the movie starts with the break into the US Embassy and it doesn’t let up from there. It doesn’t even lose steam with the scenes cutting to Hollywood and Washington D.C. There is never a moment when you don’t feel the peril for the hostages creeping at the back of your neck. Affleck’s use to archival footage never seems out of place or showy. It grounds the film in its time and place and heightens the emotions rather than taking you out of it all.

While you can’t help but assume that the end of the film was given the Hollywood treatment for dramatic purposes, it works. You know they make it out, that’s a given. The Iranian secret police figure out from shredded photos that some of this so-called Canadian film crew are actually some of the missing Americans and race to the airport. What would happen? Would the flight take off? I knew the answer but I still held my breath and gripped my armrests throughout the entire sequence.

Who knew that someone that was considered Matt Damon’s also-ran could get so good?

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Liam Neeson: The Musical

Posted on October 3, 2012 by ilmozart

It was really only a matter of time before it became Neeson Season.

(Thanks to Vulture for the link)

I’m glad to see that they’re still bringing out “release the Kraken.” It might be cliched, but dang it makes me laugh.

Personally, I’m still super psyched for Taken 2: The Takening. And there must be a sequel in the works for The Grey. What would it be? The Biege? The Ecru? The Not Quite Black but Not Quite White?

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SNL Classic: Gore/Bush First Debate

Posted on October 3, 2012 by ilmozart

Tonight will be the first of the 2012 Presidential debate between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney.  Rather than watch Mitt and Barack go at each other, especially now that Mitt’s got his “zingers” I thought this debate might be more enjoyable.

My apologies for lack of embedding. The new Hulu setup is giving me problems.

Darrell Hammond nailed that odd drawl Gore had, as well as his repetition of “lockbox”. Will Ferrell’s George W. Bush is just a thing of beauty – the furrowed brow giving us both clueless and full of self confidence. Not to mention “Every two child did. I will”. Bush was seriously the political gift that kept on giving without turning too mean.

Also – Strategery.

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88 Lines About 44 Simpsons

Posted on October 2, 2012 by ilmozart

In honor of The Simpsons season premiere…not that it deserves honor, mind you…I thought I would post this great parody of the Nails’ song 88 Lines about 44 Women. This is by Great Luke Ski and is entitled 88 Lines About 44 Simpsons.

I especially like Grandpa’s weak cry of “MATLOCK!!”and how they managed to get Nelson’s “Ha Ha” into the rhyme. Plus the line “he uses proper Kelsey Grammar” is nicely done.

And for those who aren’t familiar with the original song:

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Moonshine River or the Simpsons forgets its past (updated)

Posted on October 2, 2012 by ilmozart

SIGH.

SIIIIIIIIIGH.

I know I swore I’d stop watching this. I’m not even hate watching it like I do with Glee. I watch every new episode, knowing how terrible it will be, but in the depths of my despair,  I hold onto hope that one day the show I love will return. And yet, I’m always disappointed.

No more so than with The Simpsons season premiere.

The plot, as always these days, is besides the point. Bart wants to prove that a girl will love him so he tracks down all his past girlfriends to ask them if … and oh my god I’m boring myself as I type this. But the point of the plot is that it leads the Simpsons family to New York. And they’re all gung ho to head to the Big Apple!

But ay, there’s the rub. Because the Simpsons family has already been to New York in the classic “The City of New York vs Homer Simpson.” ‘Member that? They took the Sit-N-Stare Bus line and didn’t pay the extra $1.50 for a bathroom? That brilliant episode that saw Homer stuck between the Twin Towers, eating khlav kalash, drinking crab juice, dreaming of Flushing Meadows. The episode that saw the creation of the musical “Kickin’ It” (pardon the crappy video below):

And if we remember correctly, as the rest of the family had a magical day in NYC, Homer ends the day with a car damaged by a boot, no windshield, behind a garbage truck with refuse and used needles flying in his face. When the kids ask if they can come back, Homer responds through gritted teeth “We’ll see.” Most people wouldn’t assume that was a promise so much a vow to never set foot there again.

Yet we had this episode.

I understand that in this world of cartoons, everything resets at the end of the episode, with very few exceptions – Lisa being a vegetarian, Maude Flanders dying… But every so often you think that there has been something so iconic that the show would remember it and not 100% rewrite its own history. And that is exactly what happened this weekend.

Apart from the khlav kalash callback, there’s nothing to show that the current writers are aware that the show has a past. [updated to add] The entire plotline of Marge and Lisa trying to find affordable culture in NYC is exactly what happened before. They just replaced “I’m Checkin’ In” with Shakespeare in the Park. And with lesser results, I might add. Just compare that song above to a very very lame joke about the Baldwins vs the Sheen-Estevezes. No comparison. To quote South Park, “The Simpsons already did it!”

Think back to “The City of New York vs Homer Simpson” and think about this episode. Homer wouldn’t stare happily at Times Square! He was robbed and taken for a fool there!

I cry SHENANIGANS at this scene!

And it galls me. Sticks in my craw. Just pisses me off.

So will I stop watching? Alas, no.

Much like Homer and the sandwich, how can I be angry at you, Simpsons? You may give me the television watching version of food poisoning, but you are my sandwich and it would seem I’m sticking with you till the bitter end. Mold, fungus, botulism and all.

Here’s hoping next week’s Treehouse of Horror will redeem itself.

Probably not.

Oh and the SNL jokes are just as tired as everything else

(I didn’t think Zooey Deschanel’s guest voice and the entire Breakfast at Tiffany’s spoof was worth more than this footnote mention.)

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So now Stewie Griffin will be hosting the Oscars?

Posted on October 1, 2012 by ilmozart

Seth MacFarlane, father of Peter Griffin, Clevland Brown and Roger the Alien will be hosting this year’s Oscar ceremony on February 24.

Your Oscar host ladies and gentleman

Yes. Really.

EW reports this with same sense of “huh” as the rest of us:

Seth MacFarlane is hosting the Academy Awards.

God help us, who ever thought we’d be seeing THOSE words all put together?

This is an interesting choice for many reasons, the biggest of which is that MacFarlane is primarily associated with television, not film. (His summer hit Ted notwithstanding.)  Recently, the Oscar hosts have usually been stars with solid movie credentials. Thinking back to a television only host – David Letterman – is not terribly encouraging.

Add to this the fact that I’m not sure how familiar most of the older members of the Academy are with Seth MacFarlane. I’m sure many of them are hearing this news and looking at the name and face blankly, trying desperately to figure out exactly which movies he has starred in. Remember…he was only a voice in Ted…

But all that being said, MacFarlane can probably react pretty quickly on his feet. He managed to poke fun at himself during the Emmys when he went to the wrong microphone. So he might give us an entertaining show. Plus he can sing. And I think he can sing rather well. Much like Matt and Trey who manage to infuse South Park with as much music as possible, MacFarlane loves a good song, especially a pastiche to his favorite songs of the Rat Pack era or Broadway hits.

I suppose he won’t be as disengaged as James Franco and will probably give us at least one “WTF?” moment, so that’s something.

Personally I’d rather just have him let Roger from American Dad host the entire thing and be done with it.

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Ok…So Let’s Live Blog the Emmys

Posted on September 23, 2012 by ilmozart

I did it for the Oscars, and considering I watch A LOT more TV… I thought “Hey, let’s live blog the Emmys.”

I’m thinking I’ll be a lot more pissed off about the results this year — Modern Family, I’m looking at you…

7:46 PM – Red carpet is boring. Always boring. They talked to Jon Hamm and didn’t mention his amazing, ahem, endowments? For shame.

7:51 PM – Very torn about the Best Drama category…Mad Men, Game of Thrones, and Breaking Bad are all worthy shows and each are superior in their own ways. But with three to choose from, it’s hopefully going to be harder to be disappointed…

7:55 PM – TV’s sexiest man ISN’T Regis? This poll was totally rigged…

8:00 PM – OK Kimmel. Entertain me.

8:01 PM – And that is why I love Lena Dunham.

8:02 PM – Great call back to that utter failure with the reality show hosts as the Emmy hosts. God what a mess that was.

8:04 PM – Kimmel’s looking svelte.

8:06 PM – That’s right. EVERYONE loves Lena Dunham because she’s got talent. Not just because she is happy to show up naked. Everywhere.

8:08 PM – Thank you Year in Comedy for recognizing Happy Endings. And the Live Episode of 30 Rock.

8:11 PM – Amy Poehler and Louis C.K. If she can’t be with Will Arnett, I’ll be ok with this.

8:12 PM – Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series….is….Eric Stonestreet. Meh. I love him, I do. But c’mon. This was a terrible season and Max Greenfield MADE New Girl into the hit it is. And really, Bill Hader’s Stefon is just plain genius.

8:17 PM – Dancing with the Star All Stars…a show I’m happy that I don’t watch.

8:18 PM – Yes, New Girl and Sheldon are both very white.

8:19 PM – Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series…is…Louis C.K. Damned straight it does. He looks tired though. Thanks FX which he should because they let him do whatever the hell he wants. Which is why the show is so brilliant. I’m delighted with this.

8:22 PM – Is Aaron Paul wearing a brown suit? But the old tyme Breaking Bad show is pretty fab. You tell Don Knotts, Heisenberg! “Brought to you by Meth” That’s super.

8:25 PM – Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy…is…Julie Bowen. Really? REALLY EMMY? I’m getting tired of this Modern Family worship when you have amazing performances like Meritt Weaver in Nurse Jackie, the one character who pretty much is always in a comedy on that show. Again, I don’t mind the cast of MF but it’s not the brilliant comedy it once was, and just proves once again how the Emmy get stuck in the past and refuse to see the future. Glad Bowen can get a laugh out of “nipple covers”, huh?

8:30 PM – Just noticed the photos of the presenters when they walk out. Nice and awkward.  Matthew Perry looks tired and dare I say it…on something?

8:33 PM – Kathy Bates and Jimmy Fallon presenting for Best Comedy Directing. It’s all about Jews and Louis C.K. huh? The winner is Steve Levitan. I cry shenanigans. CK’s direction on the duckling episode of Louis was fabulous and Lena Dunham’s control over the pilot was just great. Emmys – I’m putting you on watch.

8:36 PM – Little girls are all evil. I’d love me some Chang on Modern Family.

8:37 PM – Outstanding Actor in a Comedy…is…JON CRYER??? JON CRYER??? Is this his prize for putting up with Charlie Sheen for so long? Melissa McCarthy’s intro is the only redeeming thing about this. Even Jon Cryer himself knows that this is a farce. Cryer over Louis? Cryer over Sheldon? Heck, Cryer over Larry David? I’m just done here. Yes, it IS crazy.

8:44 PM – Colbert presenting Lead Actress in a Comedy Series. He loves women. Some of them. Because it’s true some of them are just plain awful. And the winner is…Julia Louis Dreyfus. That was pretty much a given, no? But luckily she’s great in Veep. And is a great comic actress in general. AND giving Amy Poehler a little thing to do? Love it. And love her.

8:49 PM – The Year in Reality. Did it really deserve a montage? Especially when the right show/host will never win? Though it’s nice to see all Housewives and their plastic faces paraded so publicly.

8:52 PM – Outstanding Reality Competition Program winner is…The Amazing Race. YAWN. Did anyone see Melanie on So You Think You Can Dance? Really, did you see her? She’s brilliant. There were gorgeous routines. And it requires true talent. Again,  what an absolute crock of BS this year.

8:53 PM – It’s been almost an hour and I’m mostly just pissed off. I don’t know why I expect the Emmys to reward good television. Maybe because they recognize it enough to nominate it, but beyond giving the actors and the programs just the barest of nods of recognition, it’s all pomp to celebrate the same thing year in and year out. We are living in a golden age of television. Why not really celebrate that and not Two and a Half Men or another comedy who has lost its sheen and is now just a pat sitcom? It makes me sad.

8:57 PM – Big Bang Theory introduces the accountants. Do we call that stereotyping?

8:58 PM – There have been sound problems ALL show. Though let’s blame Seth Macfarlane for this one. I enjoy him taking down reality TV. Outstanding Reality Show Host is…never Cat Deeley. Oh fine, it’s Tom Bergeron. As I don’t watch Dancing with the Stars, I have no real opinion on his win. But I will always root for Cat who takes hosting a reality competition show and gives that role a sense of compassion and class.

9:01 PM – The Year in Drama. Aka the Year in Downton Abbey, huh? I’ll put Walter White or Tyrion Lannister against the Dowager Countess any day.

9:04 PM – A very pregnant Claire Danes presents Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama, which is…Aaron Paul! YES! Finally! An award I can absolutely get behind. His portrayal of Jesse is so painful and honest, he deserves this without reservation. And he gave Gus Fring a solid, solid hug. This was a category where anyone could have won and I’d be happy, but I’m really happy for this one.

9:13 PM – Tracy Morgan, in a very ill-fitting suit, is quite game.

9:14 PM – Gosh I love Connie Britton. Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series. They’re just as funny as the comedy writers. God bless them for doing this and debasing themselves. Winner is…Homeland. To take it away from Mad Men it has to be pretty darned good, and yeah, the writing for Homeland was just that. Pretty pretty darned good. Showtime becomes legit here.

9:17 PM – Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series is…Maggie Smith. Of course.    One must always honor the Chicken Lady. But seriously? Christine Baranski, Anna Gunn, Archie Punjabi were all better. Sorry Chicken Lady, but it’s true.

Also, why the constant reminding that Jon Hamm has never won an Emmy? Unless he actually wins this is just cruel taunting by the Academy. Jon deserves better than this.

9:22 PM – That Tracy Morgan bit was just stoopid in the end. Thankfully after that we get Gus Fring. Ahhhh.

9:24 PM – Martha Plympton can really do it all. Though not sure about her dress. Directing in a Drama Series also gets the comedic treatment. Yes. EVERYTHING is a comedy. Emmy goes to Tim Van Patten for Boardwalk Empire.

9:25 PM – In Memoriam with Josh Groban singing about….Jimmy Kimmel?? Yes, he had quite a strange road to this show. I remember him from his days on KROQ with Kevin and Bean. That was just real strange there folks.

9:27 PM – Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series given out by Julianna Margulies in quite a weird dress. Winner is…Damien Lewis. Cuz he’s awesome as Brody and does a flawless American accent. And he is properly funny and super talented. But let’s stop with those Jon Hamm Emmy jokes now, k?

9:36 PM – Tina Fey and Jon Hamm together again. If only he had his hook hands… Tina is funny. The actresses are getting more time to showcase their talent, interesting. Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series is Claire Danes for Homeland. Not a surprise and not at all undeserved. Carrie is totally messed up character that Danes sells like no one’s business. “Mandy Patinkin holla.” I stalked him once a decade ago when I was drunk. True story.

Showtime has just won the top 2 drama acting Emmys. HBO must be a little nervous now.

9:40 PM – The Year in Variety. Awards shows honoring awards shows. And Neil de Grasse Tyson on the Daily Show. But I don’t need to see Beyonce rub her bump again.

9:42 PM – Aziz Ansari is adorable, even with a terrible British accent. The girl from Suburgatory follows suit. Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music, or Comedy Special…Louis C.K. Huzzah. Second Emmy for Louis tonight!

9:50 PM – Here comes Ricky Gervais. They’ve given him Outstanding Directing for a Variety Special. Put him in his place a bit, eh? And here’s the usual award for an award show…barring CK of course who can totally school Gervais. Tonys director won. Tonys are a decent show. Not Louis C.K. good, but good.

9:54 PM – Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Special – The Daily Show has won for the past 10 years or so…will they win again? Yes. Yes they Will. Love the image of Jon, Jimmy Fallon and Stephen Colbert wrestling each other down to the ground. That is comedy. Jon recognizes all the other shows and how great they are and you believe him and know that he’s not just giving them a bs nod. He uses the word “ephemeral” in his  speech. And then said that when aliens visit in the future when the Earth is just a burned out husk, they’ll find all the Daily Show Emmys and know just how predictable these fucking things are. Ah Jon. I love you so hard.

10:00 PM – Emmy’s second hour was less painful than its first. However, I think it’s going to take me some real television love to make it through the next hour. This is getting … tiresome. Never thought I’d say that about TV.

10:03 PM – The Year in Miniseries or Movie. Ok, this getting ridiculous. Especially because they will never honor Sherlock like it needs honoring.

10:05 PM – Steve Buscemi starts with “Yay Tim Van Patten” and presents Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Mini Series or Movie. He’s still so strange looking sometimes. Jessica Lange for American Horror Story. She was so so creepy and still tragic in this show. It’s a show. Not a mini series no matter what Ryan Murphy says.

10:13 PM – Kerry Washington presents the Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Mini Series or Movie. For some reason. Tom Berenger for Hatfields and McCoys. Berenger looks like he’s made of plastic. WTF? So Hatfields and McCoys –  Didn’t watch that. Should I have? Ehhhh. Probably not. I do wish Martin Freeman had won though. Tim for the win!

10:17 PM – And now little Ronnie Howard gives tribute to Matlock. And the other In Memoriam clips…to “Memories”. So treacly. Aw Davy Jones! Phyllis Diller’s laugh was art in and of itself. Gosh I forgot about Celeste Holm. Two of the Sweathogs! Patrice. Ben Gazzara. Mrs. Landingham. Marty. And a great close with Harry Morgan and Dick Clark.

10:26 PM – Lucy Liu and Kiefer Sutherland? Odd pairing. Outstanding Writing for a Mini Series or Movie goes to… (god I want Moffat to win!) But Danny Strong winning for Game Change is a nice second. Paris would be so proud (Gilmore Girls for the win!)

10:28 PM –  Lead Actress in a Mini Series or Movie is…Julianne Moore. That was a very risky thing she did with her Sarah Palin. She captured Palin without becoming Tina Fey. And as she pointed out, Palin herself gave her a thumbs down. Moore is gorgeous in a way Palin can only dream of. Though not sure if this is 100% the BEST performance in the bunch. But as it doesn’t have me foaming at the mouth the way Jon Cryer’s win did, I’m cool.

10:35 PM – Ginnifer Goodwin and Emily van Camp presenting Outstanding Directing in a Mini Series of Movie. Ok. Jay Roach won for Game Change. Again, good but maybe Hollywood is just voting to show their utter disdain for Palin and the Republican party? Roach then kisses HBO’s butt. And I forgot Tom Hank’s Playtone Pictures produced this.

And Outstanding Lead Actor in a Mini Series of Movie…and Cumberbatch and Elba are both there! But lose out to Kevin Costner. Meh. Sorry. Meh. I am sure Costner was fabulous, but you snubbed two of my favorite Brits there, Waterworld!

10:45 PM – Outstanding Mini Series or Movie. Game Change wins over Sherlock. Annoyed. Not pissed off, but very very annoyed. Did it win just to they could get Tom Hanks and his ‘stache on stage? Did no one SEE Sherlock?

10:47 PM – Julianne Moore presenting Outstanding Drama Series. K. I guess that works. There’s really no real dud in this category. Emmy goes to Homeland which breaks Mad Men‘s sweep. Wowie wow wow. Showtime is a real player in original television programming after this. HUGE win for them. And a real snub for Mad Men this year. Did they get anything…?

10:50 PM – Holy hell. Only one award left. The Emmys will actually end on time. Possibly because they aren’t cracking wise about the show going long. Oscars, take note.

I also just realized that Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones got pretty shafted too. True Aaron Paul won, but overall these shows, the real workhorses of television drama that help make TV worth watching these days got nada. Oh sure, Game of Thrones cleaned up in the tech awards, but nothing tonight. Would love to be a fly on the wall in some of those HBO, FX, and AMC meetings tomorrow…

10:55 PM – Everyone’s least favorite person, Michael J. Fox presents Outstanding Comedy Series. Yes, that standing ovation proves how disliked he really is. If Modern Family wins, I’m so so through with it all.

AND I’m clearly so so through with it all. Modern Family wins best comedy. There is no laughter in the television world tonight. I remember being delighted when it won the first year. Second year, I was mildly amused. Now, just over it.

Parks and Rec wuz robbed. Nuff said.

And that concludes my coverage of the 64th annual Emmy awards. Mostly wrong or just misguided. Some proper wins. And Kimmel did no harm, but didn’t really liven things up all that much either. Give me Fallon next year. Or just let Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert co-host and give this girl what she really wants!

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