Recently I complained about missing the premier of ANTM’s millionth cycle because of lack of advertising and the ratings for that episode seemed to confirm it’s “under the radar” airing.  This week, ratings were up a tenth in the coveted 18-49 demographic…huzzah?

Thanks to the magic of the DVR, I am all caught up on the past 2 episodes, and I’m not sure how I feel about the “British Invasion” theme.

The British are coming! The British are coming!

I love my country as much as the next person, but I don’t know if I can handle an entire season of USA! USA! USA! from a bunch of young ladies who, while well meaning, probably can’t find our capital on a map.  But if this cycle of ANTM tells us nothing, it shows us that this vague handle on the world, history, reality…is not confined within our borders.

This week was the best episode of any cycle – makeovers! Excuse me, Ty-overs since Tyra has to add her name and/or crazy to everything in the show.

What? No Ty-overs this season?  Ahhhh, SHAKEOVERS. Because she was giving some of them pink hair or red/white/blue hair or bangs! Ooooh Tyra, you rebel!

TVDuck does a good and highly humorous breakdown of the makeovers, so why repeat?

I don’t understand how any of these aspiring models can show up to the set, at this point, and act surprise that they might get their hair cut.  We’ve seen crying, breakdowns, hissy fits. “You’re going to make me look like a boy!” There was even the time a model quit rather than let Tyra have her way with her.

This time we got both from UK model wannabe, Louise. Not only were they going to cut her precious hair, but make it darker!  I think the phrase I’m looking for is first world problems?  Honey, the cut was so much more flattering. Trust me.  Not sure about the color though. You might have been right about that one.

Louise...it's Sally Hershberger. Not Supercuts. Relax.

This was followed by something more out of Survivor than ANTM — the groups had to eat the native foods of the other group. So that means the Americans had to eat haggis and the Brits had to eat pig’s feet.   I would have thought everyone would eat McD’s…  One of the Americans (they are all so interchangeable at this point, I think it was Seymone) chowed down on the haggis and won. What did she win? NOTHING! Or at least nothing I could discern.

Photo shoot this week? With Kris Jenner. That’s right, the woman who wrought the trifecta of Kim-Khloe-Kourtney upon us. Sigh.  And the concept was that the contestants would essentially be babies/toddlers and Kris was the mama.  Freud would have such a field day with this one.

This is truly out of my nightmares.

Three cheers for her red white and blue

While Laura and her american flag hair won best picture, this time around the Brits did better overall than the Americans.  And Mariah, the first Native American on the show, was. sent. home.

Next week Cat Deely. SQUEEEEE!

PS – No more lip flags. Pretty please?

PPS – Brits? Keep up the bitchiness. I’m enjoying.