Extremely Loud and Incredibly Bad

I’m sure I’m not the first one who has made that pun. And the movie is so bad, I’m sure I won’t be the last

thanks to Salon.com

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is Oscar-bait. Focused on one boy’s emotional journey following 9/11, directed by Stephen Daldry who directed The Hours, starring Oscar-winners Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock, as well as respected actors like Viola Davis, Jeffrey Wright, Max von Sydow, this movie was made to win awards.  But based on the movie’s IMdB page, that didn’t really pan out for them to well.

Although I had not read the book by Jonathan Safran Foer, when I saw this trailer, I thought “Well…ok then. I’ll see it.”
http://youtu.be/Z_quK9SEGYE

And I was all set to go see it as soon as it hit theaters.

Until the reviews started.

Currently on Rotten Tomatoes, it’s at 47%.  Here are some of the highlights from those reviews:
– Tom Long of the Detroit News says “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” is the kind of movie you want to punch in the nose.
– Antonia Quirke from the Financial Times said “So slow and self-important that its Academy Award Best Picture nomination only proves that the shortlist is too long.”
– Peter Bradshaw from the Gaurdian (UK) succinctly described it as [An] intensely self-conscious movie that contrives to make the human cost and human meaning of 9/11 distant and faint.
But I think most apt is the review from Brett Michel in the Boston Phoenix: Too soon? For Stephen Daldry’s 9/11 drama, the right time is “never.”

I was in NY for 9/11 and I was damned lucky. I didn’t know anyone directly who died. I wasn’t downtown and all my friends who were, got out unscathed, physically.  But the emotional impact was there.  Someone had hurt my city.  This was the city of my birth and where so many of the touchpoints in my life as an adult had occurred.  No one OWNS 9/11, but so many of us carry that day inside in our many ways…

And everyone has been trying to figure out how to express this heavy thing we carry with us. Some people wrote books, some people wrote music, some people sculpted or painted. And some took that day and boiled it down to its most manipulative aspects and made this film.

The plot basics: a boy who is most likely on the Autism spectrum loses his father on 9/11 or as he calls it “the worst day”.  A year later he finds a key in an envelope with just the word “Black” written on it and assumes it’s a link to a message from his father. He sets out to discover what the key opens to find the message, crisscrosses the five boroughs to talk to every single “Black” in the phone-book to do so.

Nice story, right? Touching.  But somehow the movie muddles it.  I felt nothing when the father, played by Tom Hanks, died. I felt nothing  when the kid listens to the voicemail his father left as he died in one of the Towers.  And every coincidence that bring the boy closer to the answer of the key, was just that, a contrived coincidence. Pushing aside my disbelief that ANY parent would let their child wander the streets of NY by themselves or that said child could actually WALK from Manhattan to Brooklyn or that the entire interaction with the mysterious character played by Max von Sydow called The Renter would play out the way it did (which I guessed literally as soon as his character was mentioned) … frequently, everything was just too much and just unbelievable in the end.

I am highly susceptible to the emotional effects of music.  No shame in admitting, I cry at the end of How to Train Your Dragon every. single. time. That music just gets to me.  Hell, I’ve cried at Kleenex commercials on occasions. This movie? Nothing. It’s soundtrack?Nothing. I sat for the entire running time, 115 minutes, just waiting for that hitch in my breathing, waiting for the moment that the cumulative gestalt of the movie would push me to where I could ignore all the bs and the obvious manipulation and let myself be swept up in the tragedy and be uplifted. That never happened. From the moment the movie opened on the image of a man falling, an image that was reused throughout the film whenever it needed a cheap emotional punch, I was just disconnected from it all.

This movie did speak to some people, to be sure.  The guy sitting in front of me in the theater spent most of the movie sniffling, and not from a coke habit. A friend of mine is calling it the best film of the year. At least some members of the Academy of Arts and Sciences voted this as their favorite film of the year.  I just don’t see it.

Anthony Bourdain used the word “twee” to describe the movie during an interview with the NY Times and announced via Twitter that he had to stop watching less than halfway through.  It’s not just twee, it’s insulting. I don’t walk out of movies, but I came close with this one.

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Sacha Baron Cohen respond to the Academy

Not sure which is the funniest bit…Academy of Motion Pictures and Zionists or The Planet of the Rapes.
Either way, yeah, I’ll go see your movie. You win.

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I’m gonna sing the doom song now!

Every so often a TV show comes around that changes everything. It allows you to see the world with fresh eyes. Candy seems sweeter, colors seem brighter, couches seem more comfortable.

Invader Zim is one of those shows.

It’s nothing like Breaking Bad or Six Feet Under or West Wing. It’s not even Friday Night Lights.  But for a kid’s cartoon, it’s pretty groundbreaking.

Back story: Jhonen Vasquez is the creator of Invader Zim. He is the writer/creator of the amazing and terrifying comic, Johnny The Homicidal Maniac about serial killer Johnny C., as well as the collection Squee’s Wonderful Big Giant Book Of Unspeakable Horrors.  Clearly because these are comics — Nickelodeon asked Jhonen to create a cartoon for kids! And Zim is what he came up with.

Moral of the story? You don’t ask someone who creates a comic about a serial killer to write a kid’s show.

Basics: Invader Zim is a failed invader from the Irken Empire who had been banished to planet Foodcourtia after attacking his own planet during Operation Impending Doom.  When he heard about Operation Impending Doom II, he quit being banished and volunteered.  The Almighty Tallest (the leaders of the Irken Empire because they are tall) want to get rid of Zim as best they can so they send him to conquer Earth with his trust robot sidekick, Gir.

Gir’s brain is full of crap from a garbage bin and is pretty much insane.

Gir is the best.

The bulk of the show is Zim’s mind boggling incompetence, Gir’s full-blown insanity, and the efforts of Dib – the one very large-headed human who realizes that Zim is not in fact a regular ordinary “human worm child”, but an alien invader hellbent on destroying the planet – to expose Zim once and for all.

Best episodes:

Dark Harvest – wherein Zim steal internal organs from all the kids in Skool to seem “more human”. This episode also gives us the illness, head pigeons.
Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain – wherein Gir ends up as the brain of the house’s computer system, craves burritos.
Walk of Doom – wherein Gir loses the new homing device Zim just installed. They get lost downtown. Hilarity ensues.
Door to Door – wherein Zim sells Poop candy to win the mysterious grand prize for the school’s candy drive.  Highlight is Poop Dog
Abducted – wherein the universe’s stupidest aliens abduct Zim, thinking he’s a human.
Mysterious Mysteries – wherein Dib tries to expose Zim on the show, Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery; the multiple enactments of Dib confronting Zim in the forest are worth the price of admission alone
Mortos Der Soulstealer – wherein Dib summons Mortos Der Soulstealer to take Zim down to the spooky realm…but Mortos is really just a mooch who wants Dib to buy him leather pants and a soda
Zim Eats Waffles – wherein Zim eats waffles. These got peanuts and soap in ’em!
http://youtu.be/M77hxgcidBA

Where/When: The first episode aired in March 2001. Because of low ratings, the majority of the season 2 episodes didn’t air before the show was canceled. However, with the DVD release, the show developed a cult following and can be seen in reruns on Nick Toons.

Individual seasons are available for purchase on Amazon, but at highly elevated prices.

Bottom Line: Sick, dark, and twisted cartoon for those with a sick, dark, and twisted sense of humor

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Stefon’s Clubs – an illustrated guide

Stefon’s Illustrated Guide to New York’s Hottest Nightclubs | Splitsider.

Menorah the Explorer. Human traffic cones. Black George Washington. And Teddy Graham people.

I really don’t have much else to add.

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Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

It’s not easy seeing many many many movies a year and definitely not easy on the wallet.

Thankfully, movie studios want to create the proverbial “buzz” and as such, screens movies early for audiences who will hopefully love the movie and tell everyone they know to go see it. Needless to say, I see a free movie whenever I can.

Last night’s viewing was the new film by Lasse Hallström, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen starring Emily Blunt and Ewan McGregor.

An odd little story about a Sheikh in Yemen who is so enamored of salmon fishing in Scotland, that he wants to devote 50 million GBP to bringing the sport to his own country as a way to better the lives of his people.  This of course seems like a folly at best, but his money buys him the attention of Ewan McGregor’s Dr. Alfred Jones an ichthyologist and Emily Blunt’s character, unlikely named Harriet Chetwode-Talbot, the Sheikh’s financial adviser.

Naturally the British government gets involved, embodied by Kristin Scott Thomas who brings a wicked snap to her dialog that was both offensive and endearing.

While this is a story about faith in the impossible, in one’s self, in others, this isn’t the “feel good story of the year” sort of movie.  It’s funny. Really funny. Like, I was honestly surprised at how funny this movie was. And apart from the few requisite romantic and cheesy scenes like swimming in the Yemen in the moonlight, the movie doesn’t seem steeped in useless sentiment.

Both Blunt’s and McGregor’s characters are extremely likable, even though McGregor’s character can hover on the border of Asperger’s. And as the Sheikh, Amr Waked manages to be both mystical and grounded, providing the right touch of exotic without becoming a total stereotype.

I never really thought a movie would make me care whether a fish lived or died, but Salmon Fishing in the Yemen proves there’s a first time for everything.

(I should also add that there were free desserts and coffee courtesy of The Cooking Show at the Rustic Kitchen in Boston.  Many thanks for the mini-fruit tart!)

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The Best Picture Nominees, As Infographics — Vulture

Summary of the Artist by Vulture

The Best Picture Nominees, As Infographics.

NY Mag’s hysterical and saucy Vulture blog on culture and cultural related things, has some brilliant slide shows.

This slide show is especially witty.

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Don Draper, now in Hungarian

Jon Hamm is sexy even when mangling the Hungarian language.

I cannot wait for Mad Men to come back on March 25.

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Bob’s Burgers or Start Primping for Lobsterfest

Bob and his family

From the strange mind of Loren Bouchard, creator of Lucy: Daughter of the Devil and focused on a hapless burger slinger and his extremely odd family, Bob’s Burgers is one of the funniest cartoons on TV right now.  Not only is it highly subversive in it’s own way, it is eminently quotable and features some amazing vocal work by the ubiquitious H. Jon Benjamin (Archer, Dr. Katz Professional Therapist, Family Guy, and many others), Kristen Schaal (30 Rock, Flight of the Conchords, The Daily Show) , Eugene Mirman (Delocated, Flight of the Conchords), with guest artists like Kevin Kline and Megan Mullally.

So basically, yeah. Awesome.

The first season was only 13 episodes, but I have watched each of those episodes at least three times. One of my office mates and I have rewatched certain scenes on a daily and then weekly basis.

And when Fox’s fall lineup was released, and Bob’s Burgers wasn’t on it, well we cried just a little. On the inside. In private.

Luckily, Fox hasn’t left us out in the cold sans Bob and most importantly Louise, his probably psychopathic/sociopathic daughter played by Schaal who steals every scene she’s in.  The show returns this March, back on the so-called “Animation Domination” aka “Seth Macfarland plus a smidge of Matt Groening”. Hallelujah.

And one of the writers has started a blog Behind Bob’s Burgers giving us a bit of a behind the scenes peek. Not much there yet, but I’m hopeful. Though even the picture of Robert Pattinson with Louise’s hat is enough for me.

All of this is to say, WATCH BOB’S BURGERS on March 3, 8:30 pm and laugh, dammit, laugh.

That is all.

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No Dictator for Sacha Baron Cohen

Really the Oscars? Really?

In an effort to promote his new movie, The Dictator, Sacha Baron Cohen wanted to attend the Oscars and walk the red carpet in costume and in character. Deadline just reported that the Academy pulled his tickets (!) once they heard the buzz on the interwebs today and that the only way he would be allowed to attend was if he swore a blood oath on the head of his child that he wouldn’t show up in costume or attempt to promote the movie in anyway.

First no Muppets singing and now no SBC?  They’ll let Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet, but someone who is actually talented – nope.  It’s not like he’s ever done anything that would make them think he’d embarrass the Academy. What’s the damage, Heather?

Though there’s this

And this

…and this

http://youtu.be/vkdQN8Pp7_w

While not saying I agree in any way, shape, or form, I see where they’re coming from.
But seriously, who doesn’t think the awards ceremony couldn’t use a little Sacha Baron Cohen dressed an oppressive Middle Eastern dictator to spice it up around an hour in? What if he came in his neon green thong?

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Majestic, Glorious John Williams Theme Music

This isn’t new or is it something I haven’t already showed to every single person I know.

But by gum, it deserves to start circulating again:

That beautiful music brings a tear to my eye every single time.

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